Week One ...

One week ago something very dear in my life changed. I spent last week with friends, talking things over, making plans, kind of going about life as if nothing had changed. In my heart and mind, though, I know what's what and I feel it. I can hide my feelings well but that doesn't mean they aren't hiding & dwelling deep down inside. 

Perhaps every time we go through hurt or heartache it becomes a little easier to get over. My friends seem to think it won't take me as long to heal this time around, but healing is individual.  No one can put a time frame on it. What I do know is that the disappointments don't hurt any less. In being optimistic and hopeful, we trust that things will change & people will hold true to their word and not solely place blame on others for holding them to their word ... Many people continue to disappoint me, but this last one really stung. It's life & I'm learning to look more at a person's actions & not their words. In the future I will do that more. I won't allow anyone to take away my peace or to treat me as though I'm unimportant or an afterthought. 

It may take a long time until I open my heart up again ... I know what I hope and pray for ... But only God knows the end result. In the meantime, I have to keep pressing on & go through each day enjoying it & appreciating the wonderful things I do have. 

I also have to feel my feelings, cry when I need to & lean on God & my support systems when I can't seem to support myself. In time, I'll heal ... I hope.

And in time I'll move on ... I hope ... And I have to keep the faith that God has a very special someone & a great plan for my life. If I lose that faith, I lose all.  There has to be a reason for all of this. I can't say it's fair, but I have to count my blessings. I made it through week one. I don't know how week two will go. I can only keep talking to God & continuing on with my days. I've been here before & I've gotten through. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt ... Because it surely does. But, this too shall pass.