Closure

Why do some people need closure & others don't? Well, the obvious answer is everyone handles things differently. I am someone who prefers closure; not burned bridges, but closure. I need to know that the part of whatever has gone on is finished and then become ready for the next part to begin. For me that 'next part' starts with healing. That takes time when there's much healing that needs to take place. 

I do a great job of taking care of myself physically. Mentally & emotionally, though, I'm not doing as good of a job. I keep a lot inside instead of talking to people. Why do I have friends then? Why don't I pray & ask God to help me through this? 

If I don't begin to work with myself and try to heal, I'll never be okay with anyone. Thankfully I have an amazing group of friends & my family is a blessing. I don't usually tell them when my heart is hurting. I try my best not to burden anyone. I know they are there if / when I decide that I do need them. 

I had a long, much needed conversation with someone that allowed me to get everything that's hurt me off my chest. I wish that conversation never had to take place, but it did. It gave me a lot to think about, but I almost feel as though there isn't much to to think about or hold on to  any longer. 

Now I move on. I don't necessarily mean with anyone -- just yet. But, I start to let go of the things that hurt me & start becoming me again. Cause, I really like me. Not that I believe I'm exceptional or wonderful, but I think I'm a decent person who can make someone happy. First, I need to work on getting myself back to that happy, confident, trusting place again ... Closure. Not everyone needs it ... But, we have to do what works for us. No one else will.