Small Strong Moments

Every day we encounter different people and situations that require us to act, or react, accordingly; properly; correctly. Of course we could act, or react, negatively and that's how we'll always be remembered.

I'm learning that after a relationship ends, despite numerous attempts to make it work, despite how you may believe you feel in your heart, you just have to let go, heal, and move forward. It's not easy, but it's necessary. Or, you can stay stuck wallowing in pain, sadness, heartache and over thinking. I did all that while I was in the relationship. Now I want to heal & move forward. 

I've decided that for me, it's best not to be in contact with my ex. Some people can do it -- have constant contact -- but I find it doesn't bring me peace, can give false senses of hope and just doesn't allow for my heart to heal. This has been a long on & off relationship with no improvement, but was full of hope. Now I believe it was false hope. Regardless, I just want to be left alone. There's no need to ask questions that can be asked of someone else. There's no need to communicate. When communicating was necessary, it wasn't done.  Now, I'm not biting. 

For myself, I am glad that the last three times I have had to interact/communicate with my ex, I have responded as politely as I could bring myself to. This last time, though, I had to be honest and say I don't agree with communicating every week. It doesn't allow me to heal. Sometimes being honest is sad & hurtful, but I am tired of hurting.  I often get hurt by being too nice and naive, among other reasons. I want to stop the patten & try to do things differently now and in the future. I want to be happy & have a healthy relationship. 

I know this person isn't reading my blogs, so I can write freely. While we were together he didn't have the time or desire. Now, I don't even want him to. I just want happiness. I am happy, but I also need to heal.  I want to hold my head high & treat another person with the same respect and dignity I want given to me. In the meantime, I truly in my heart want this communication w my ex to end. If it doesn't, I will still act properly because at the end of the day, I want to be proud of myself & be able to look myself in the mirror & not have regrets.