I can't exactly say what I was thinking when I was 'soon to be 35'. I'm sure I was doing much of what I have been this week ... Planning the festivities for my upcoming celebrations. Actually, I was doing just that.
I remember my birthday last year ... I sat in a friend's classroom and said, '35 is going to be a big year for me; God willing.' In some ways, it was a positive year; in other ways, a destructive one. I suppose the term 'big' can be relative.
Buying my first apartment is a pretty big step in the grand scheme of life ... It's a 'grown up' step, as a few friends told me.
Dealing with, and healing from, yet another major heartache is also pretty big. Nearly a year of heartache has been healed in ... 3 months. That's God. I am starting to feel like myself again, and I don't want to lose this feeling ... Ever again.
I set a new personal record in my marathon running & qualified for the 2014 Boston Marathon: no small feat.
Earlier this year, I lost my beloved grandmother ... A huge event that I will never completely heal from.
In one year, I have endured some life changing events; none of which I imagined when I said 35 was going to be 'a big year'. When compared to many other people's lives, it's not that bad at all, nor am I complaining about what life has thrown my way. I know I'm very blessed & I have much to be thankful for.
For one more year, God has kept me every day. I have an amazing family & my friends are my extended family. My job isn't easy by any means of the word, but it's an excellent one & I have the opportunity to mold little people every day.
When I'm going through it, feeling frustrated or sad & trying to figure out the whys of certain things, I remind myself that God must have something greater planned for me.
And now, with a week and a few days until my 36th birthday, I'm going to continue counting my blessings and becoming more of who I used to be; hopefully with some improvements. I was lost for a short while .... Glad to be getting back to 'me'.
Let's see what 36 brings ... Or what God puts in my path for my 36th year.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Thursday, November 1, 2012
ING NYC Marathon 2012
I feel torn about something that I love so much. I suppose if I didn't love it, I wouldn't have an opinion one way or the other.
My city just suffered a devastation that I pray it never sees again. The destruction, loss of homes, lives, power; it's all too much to take in while listening to or watching the news reports. I can't even begin to imagine what any of the people whose lives were affected are feeling. I know I pray for them and I've stopped complaining about my own 'woes' because in reality, my problems are nothing in comparison to theirs.
As the week has progressed I, like many other people, have wondered what the status of the marathon would be. I also wondered what the status of my work situation would be. Two very different events, but almost the same idea.
Given everything that's happened as a result of Hurricane Sandy, I had resolved with myself that if marathon was cancelled, I wouldn't be disappointed. I would completely understand, actually. How could I not? Given all the important decisions that are made on a daily basis, I believed that the Mayor, along with the NYRR administration, would make the best decision for the race and city. Truthfully, I can not say how I feel about their decision to keep the marathon on. I think to myself, 'I hope they aren't taking water from people who truly need it,' and I also wonder if I will completely lose it when I arrive in Staten Island seeing all the destruction there.
Is going forward with this marathon fair, right, wrong, thoughtless, inspiring, etc.? I don't know. I feel terrible that there has been so much controversy over it. Reading all the negative reports and commentary has dampened the mood a bit. The excitement, for me, has slightly been taken away for reasons separate from the recent catastrophe. But add to that all the commentary, and it just doesn't hold the same excitement as it normally would.
I love the NYC Marathon, and always will, because it's a huge part my city and my life. Will I love it this year? I hope to. It's disappointing that I feel scared to run because I'm afraid of protesters. Sounds silly, but people are very headstrong about their beliefs. I feel emotional about it for every reason one can think of. All I can say is right now I'm trusting the decision made by our leader. Either way, I would have supported it.
My city just suffered a devastation that I pray it never sees again. The destruction, loss of homes, lives, power; it's all too much to take in while listening to or watching the news reports. I can't even begin to imagine what any of the people whose lives were affected are feeling. I know I pray for them and I've stopped complaining about my own 'woes' because in reality, my problems are nothing in comparison to theirs.
As the week has progressed I, like many other people, have wondered what the status of the marathon would be. I also wondered what the status of my work situation would be. Two very different events, but almost the same idea.
Given everything that's happened as a result of Hurricane Sandy, I had resolved with myself that if marathon was cancelled, I wouldn't be disappointed. I would completely understand, actually. How could I not? Given all the important decisions that are made on a daily basis, I believed that the Mayor, along with the NYRR administration, would make the best decision for the race and city. Truthfully, I can not say how I feel about their decision to keep the marathon on. I think to myself, 'I hope they aren't taking water from people who truly need it,' and I also wonder if I will completely lose it when I arrive in Staten Island seeing all the destruction there.
Is going forward with this marathon fair, right, wrong, thoughtless, inspiring, etc.? I don't know. I feel terrible that there has been so much controversy over it. Reading all the negative reports and commentary has dampened the mood a bit. The excitement, for me, has slightly been taken away for reasons separate from the recent catastrophe. But add to that all the commentary, and it just doesn't hold the same excitement as it normally would.
I love the NYC Marathon, and always will, because it's a huge part my city and my life. Will I love it this year? I hope to. It's disappointing that I feel scared to run because I'm afraid of protesters. Sounds silly, but people are very headstrong about their beliefs. I feel emotional about it for every reason one can think of. All I can say is right now I'm trusting the decision made by our leader. Either way, I would have supported it.
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