For someone who is as upset / hurt as I am, I must say, I've been out every night for the past few weekends as there have been events that I needed to attend, and instead of canceling, I just went along. However, at each event, I was partially going through the motions. By Friday, I was exhausted because pretending is exhausting.
After today's 12 mile run, I was really beat. Rightfully so. There was a kickball gathering in Stamford this evening & I was debating whether or not I would go ... For a few reasons. My heart & mind are not up for such outings, I don't know many people, and I was just tired.
I did go, though, and had a really nice time while I was there. I mingled w the people I knew, and met some new I ones. We had fun, chatted, laughed, etc., and it was nice to see the kickball crew out of 'uniform.'
I pulled the usual 'Irish Goodbye' and was home by 11:45, only a few minutes past the time I had set out for myself earlier.
Everyone says I should stay busy & keep doing things, but it's exhausting & when it's over, everything I pushed out for the time being comes rushing back. That's overwhelming.
I guess time & prayers. One day at a time. Once again I have to say, I'm so grateful for my friends ... Maybe God is speaking to me through them because they have sent me some profound messages regarding trusting The Lord, bible verses and inspirational thoughts ... Just out of nowhere. Each message of encouragement is a reminder that although I feel very alone & this period is awful, I'm not alone.
Thank you, Kimberly for the message you sent me ...it was what I needed at that very moment... And thanks to Rebecca for the encouraging bible verses.
One day at a time.
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